Monday, February 21, 2011

my cleanse.

When I chose to participate in a juice cleanse, my decision wasn't based on a desire to lose weight.  I already knew that any weight I lost from a three day cleanse would be largely from loss of fluid and would (mostly) return when I started eating normally again.  I needed the drastic measure of the cleanse (and I do think it is drastic to completely cut food for multiple days!) in order to stop the madness of my sugar consumption.  I know, in truth, my sugar addiction is not as strong a compulsion as alcoholism, but there are times I feel completely helpless to the pull of the ice cream in the freezer, or the chocolate chip cookies in the cookie jar, or the Hot Tamales in the pantry.  I'll have just one (bite, taste, piece, spoonful) does NOT work for me.

This was the first time I've ever stopped eating in my life.  The cleanse consisted of 6 juices a day.  Three of the six were the same.  In addition to that main juice, there was a pomegranate/coconut water "juice," a lemon/cayanne/agave "juice," and a cashew "juice."  I was supposed to drink the juices, in order, every two hours throughout the day.  I say "supposed to" because I didn't.  The first day I started with the wrong one simply because I grabbed the first one I saw out of the cooler (that I'd just picked up) as I was headed in to Starbucks to get the two year old a muffin.  In addition, I couldn't finish ALL six of the juices in one day.  ("Stomach" all of them would be a better word.)

Although the founders of the program "strongly encourage ditching all food for the length of your cleanse," the program allows for a few "cheats" (because we're human) that (they say) won't undo all the good work.  These include the following:
-half an organic avocado squeezed with lemon juice
-organic celery or cucumber
-organic romaine with lemon squeezed on it
-warm organic vegetable broth
I will tell you I had 1/2 an avocado a day, as well as some organic celery (that I salted) one of the days.  I also drank one cup of coffee with low fat milk each day.  I'm all about full disclosure people.  Yep, I cheated.  A little.  But I don't feel guilty.  Other than a severe caffeine withdrawal headache the first day, I felt really good on the cleanse.  There were times I felt hungry, but not famished, and the hunger went away as I drank the juices.  I'm happy to report, that the cleanse was very much a success for me.

Things I learned during this process:
  1. I can do anything for three days.
  2. Kale, cucumber, spinach, celery, and green apples belong chopped up in a big bowl with a good Italian vinaigrette.  They do not belong in a juice.
  3. I would rather be hungry, than drink that juice.
  4. The best way to drink that juice is to hold one's nose and gulp the juice down as quickly as possible.  Affectionately, "plug and chug." (I wish I'd learned this on day one.)
  5. Apparently, not everyone thinks that juice tastes as bad as I do.  (See *picture.)
  6. I've always loved my veggies, but when the sugar is out of my body, I crave them.  (The morning after the cleanse, I woke up hungry (not normal) and was thinking about the small, perfectly round red and yellow cherry tomatoes the two year old had picked out from the produce section.  We bought three containers of them because she ate an entire one as we were shopping.)
  7. It's easier for me not to eat sometimes, than to make healthy choices.
  8. I'm glad I did the cleanse.
  9. I'm not glad I paid $240 for it.  (And neither is Sparky.)
  10. The next time I "cleanse," I'll get juices form Whole Foods or make my own and buy myself a new pair of shoes instead.  Perhaps these in tan.

{that's my brother.  "this stuff isn't bad."  really, denny?  you owe me 13 bucks for that juice!}


  1. I'm laughing at this post! Love it. So proud of you for doing it. I'm right there with you. Sometimes you need a solid break from
    sweets to stop craving them. When I eat them I tend to want them daily. When I stop, I can stay away for a while...a while. But yea, next time buy shoes!! And I have to share this conversation. Your post made me think of it.

  2. THANK YOU for your honest review of the cleanse~ you just saved me and my husband $600 ($300 each)! We'll be making out own juice!
    Sugar is my downfall, too. I've got bad arthritis and the sugar makes it so much worse. I'm hoping to do some type of cleanse and start with a clean slate (so to speak) beginning March 1. Wishing us all the best!

  3. Wow that's quite an undertaking. $240 is a lot!! Glad to hear your honest report.

  4. 1) I'm glad it worked for you!
    2) Totally agree with necessity of breaking away from sugar to stop the incessant cravings, and to start craving the good stuff.
    3) I beg to differ on the spinach! Lovin' my daily spinach/fruit smoothie- tons of spinach and I can't even taste it... although I'm sure I'd feel much differently if it was combined in a bottle with all of that other stuff (as opposed to in a blender w/ 3 types of fruit).
    4) Tried it (smoothie) w/ a little coconut milk (leftover from making rice... that I needed to use up)- Mmmmmmmm.
    5) Gotta slight crush on Denny.

  5. @Torrie

    1) Thanks!
    2) Sugar addiction sucks!
    3) The spinach is definitely hidden by all the yummy stuff in your awesome smoothie. But I would still prefer to eat the stuff in your smoothie, not drink it. =) (I actually have a brownie recipe that uses spinach!)
    4) Coconut milk soup is my fave.
    5) ;) (Most girls do...)

  6. Coconut soup?? Sounds delicious!

    Yes, please feel free to include Denny in your posts anytime... need more cute boys (sorry, "Men") here in blogland. =)

    No problem about the sheet... whenever you find it!

    My to-do list today is so long, it's laughable. Just need to share that with someone! Hope you're having a good day!

  7. p.s.
    I really need to stop using so many exclamation points!!!!!!!!!!!

  8. This was hilarious! I have always thought about doing some sort of cleanse and somehow talk myself out of it.

    I might have a little crush on your brother, too. :)